FiddlersElbow

FIDDLER'S REVENGE

The next installment in the Fiddler's Series

A Closer look at the characters from "ELBOW" and the conspiracy surrounding them

COMING LATE 2001

An excerpt from Ron Kase's forthcoming book, FIDDLER'S REVENGE Scheduled for publication August 2001.

Adleman was a bear of a man. Round and tall, bearded with wild hair. He
dressed in costumes: mountain man, gaucho, hippie. He was armed with a brilliant wit, sharp and biting, but never cruel. He was a gentle giant reminding Moro of Alan Ginzberg, the beat poet of the sixties who looked ferocious, but was soft and mellow.
     Adleman enthralled Moro with campus tales. Everyone liked him, and trusted him so he was told everything, which he freely passed on to those who would allow themselves to be brought under his spell. This Saturday afternoon, with nothing else to do, Moro was more than willing to listen to Adleman's imagery of campus life especially accounts of John Drake, the college's president.
     Moro's one and only meeting with Drake left him unimpressed, and he considered Drake rather ordinary. He had sat next to Drake at an orientation luncheon for new faculty. After introductions, Drake attempted to intimidate Moro by throwing out references to obscure writers probably mentioned in the TIMES BOOK REVIEW the prior Sunday. Moro tired of Drake and his game, and left as soon as the obligatory cheese cake desert was served.
     Adleman was talking nonstop. Moro tuned in again just in time to hear him say, "I discovered something really interesting about Drake's lady friend, Penny Carol."
     "Is she the size six? The replacement for Mrs." I put you through grad school teaching school and scrubbing floors."
     "The same. You probably haven't realized that my passion is not psychology or fresh young minds. I am very passionate about the performers and the music of the 50s and 60s. I loved rock and roll in high school and never stopped. I went into depression over the deaths of Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper in 1959 from which I am just recovering, and have upgraded my music collection from single records to albums, tapes to CDs and I don't know
what's next?
     "What does this have to do with drake's size six?"
     "You'll see. In the 60s, at the height of the popularity of rock and roll, a small group of young women roamed the music world. They were called the Plaster Casters. They followed certain bands before the term groupie was coined,"
     Moro looked at Adleman with some impatience not having an idea where he was going.
     "Be patient, it's a great story." Adleman was obviously very pleased with himself. He continued, "After a concert, the Plaster Casters, sometime two girls sometimes as many as five would go backstage, and get into the band's dressing room. They were all very pretty so they had no trouble getting in. Their job or, mission was to make a plaster likeness of the penises of the band members. Hence the name, Plaster Casters."
     "No kidding?"
     "Really, no kidding. The bands always agreed, and the Casters would engage them in oral sex in order to gain full erections which were cast in plaster of Paris in aluminum tubes. After the casting, the excess plaster was cleaned off the organs. Whether or not they were brought to climax by the Casters has been lost to history."
     "This is good trivia, but so what?"
     "Penny Carol was a plaster caster for two years while on leave from her
undergraduate studies at Wisconsin."
     "Wait a minute. You're claiming that John Drake's size six had sex with rock stars in order to collect copies of their dicks?"
     "Not stars really," answered Adleman, always accurate, "Featured bands, and she didn't do opening acts."
     "Commendable."
     "Any way, Drake is so pretentious that I've been trying to find a way to
casually bring this up in conversation."
     "It would be a conversation stopper, especially if Drake was in the middle of a meal. He'll probably choke to death, and it will be your fault. I wonder if your tenure protection covers that sort of thing?"
     "Probably."
     Moro thought for a moment and then said," I don't care about Drake, but it's not fair to the size six to remind her publicly of her former career. Give her a break. Let the story die like your collection of thirty-three and a third records."
     "Ah, Moro Moskowitz you are a sensitive soul. Those stories about your Green Beret days are probably exaggerated."
     Now More was really interested in what Adleman was saying. "I wasn't a Green Beret. I don't know if they are still around."
     "Well, you were part of a ferocious fighting machine. At least that's what I'm told."
     "I was an army Ranger for a while after my medical residency, but I didn't see any action." Moro didn't want his time in Bosnia, Panama or Haiti to become known, yet he was curious how this part of his life apparently had become common knowledge on campus.
     Adleman enjoying the role of yenta related to Moro the information provided by the chairman of the search committee that hired Moro to teach biology for two years. It seems that Dick Stoole, the committee's chair did more than the usual reference checks, and turned up more than Moro showed on his c.v.
     "Stoole huh, the tall guy with the funny walk? Do they actually let him teach? He seems so limited."
     "Yeah he teaches. He's really not so bad," said Adleman ready to defend even an intellectually limited colleague.
     "Whatever was said about me is probably untrue. I'm sure that all new faculty are subjects of curiosity."
     "Not really," said a smiling Adleman. "Unless the new person is a highly educated physician from a wealthy Midwestern family who now and then disappears and turns up in the world's hot spots."
     Moro listened without showing emotion. He had hoped to disappear into the academic community of a small state college in Connecticut, but at least one person was making that impossible. Moro could leave abruptly, and call more attention to himself or he could reason with Stoole some night after classes let out and the science building was empty and quiet.